Monday, June 04, 2012

The Laws of Jerry Dynamcis, Regurgitated

Thirty-First Law of Jerry Dynamics: I refuse to let a good day ruin my bad mood.

Thirty-Second Law of Jerry Dynamics: I'm a Swiss army knife. I can do the job of many tools. And I'm cooler.

Thirty-Third Law of Jerry Dynamics: Success is kind of like bacon. It's soft, you dream about it, it tastes great, and it makes you fat.

Thirty-Fourth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Failure is kind of like a salad. No one wants it, it tastes horrible, but it makes me lean and mean.

Thirty-Fifth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Conceptualize -> Realize -> Destroy

Thirty-Sixth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I like my Poptarts raw.

Thirty-Seventh Law of Jerry Dynamics: Nose hairs get a high and tight twice as often as my eyebrows

Thirty-Eighth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Hab SoSlI' Quch, probably

Thirty-Ninth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I Hate TV

Fortieth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Just because you can "breath" doesn't entitle you to crap. If you want it, earn it.

Forty-First Law of Jerry Dynamics: I like my Onions RAW

Forty-Second Law of Jerry Dynamics: The question and the answer can never be known in the same existence, otherwise the universe cancels itself out, and will be replaced by something even more bizarre.

Forty-Third Law of Jerry Dynamics: If people could read my mind, I would get punched, alot.

Forty-Fourth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I purposely make mistakes so people don't think I’m perfect

Forty-Fifth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I weigh myself before and after pooping

Forty-Sixth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I NEED a portal gun

Forty-Seventh Law of Jerry Dynamics: "Clorox disinfecting wipes" are a poor substitute for toilet paper.

Forty-Eighth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I've googled the history of waffles.

Forty-Ninth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Blowing your nose mid-poop is a bad idea

Fiftieth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I buy food based on calorie content. the more the better.

Thursday, July 07, 2011

The Laws of Jerry Dynamics, Digested

Second Law of Jerry Dynamics: If i eat, i will digest.

Third Law of Jerry Dynamics. I poo, i plug, i plunger.

Fourth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Bacon is influential.

Fifth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I Google myself weekly.

Sixth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Itchy things get itched.

Seventh Law of Jerry Dynamics: Paperclips are good at cleaning out ears.

Eighth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Respect the Norris.

Ninth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Money is no good unless you spend it.

Tenth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Coffee is more important than friends.

Eleventh Law of Jerry Dynamics: I like gadgets.

Twelfth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I base my leadership style on Captain Picard.

Thirteenth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I do one situp per day, every morning when i get out of bed.

Fourteenth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I take things apart.

Fifteenth Law of Jerry Dynamics: It's "duck, duck, grey duck".

Sixteenth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Leftover Pizza is amazing.

Seventeenth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Jeremiah Johnson, BEST MOVIE EVER.

Eighteenth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Never Forget, Never Surrender.

Nineteenth Law of Jerry Dynamics: If there is no blood at the end of the ride, then the ride isn't over.

Twentieth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Plungers are amazing.

Twenty-First Law of Jerry Dynamics: Watch your top knot

Twenty-Second Law of Jerry Dynamics: Raging high-and-tights motivate my laughter muscle.

Twenty-Third Law of Jerry Dynamics: 8 Grand Biscuits, 2 boxes of Mac and Cheese with Tuna fish and peas, is a normal supper.

Twenty-Fourth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Crop dusting is an art.

Twenty-Fifth Law of Jerry Dynamics: I never really get full, just sick of chewing.

Twenty-Sixth Law of Jerry Dynamics: My eyebrows get a high-and-tight twice as often as my head.

Twenty-Seventh Law of Jerry Dynamics: I generally don't like people the first time i meet them. If your reading this, that means your at least "Tolerable" now.

Twenty-Eighth law of Jerry Dynamics: STFU and RTFM will answer 80% of the questions i am asked. The other 20% I probably don't know, so LMGTFY.

Twenty-Ninth law of Jerry Dynamics: Bathrooms without plungers are bad luck.

Thirtieth Law of Jerry Dynamics: Every good idea starts with a #2.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Friday, September 03, 2010

Waffles

In celebration of one of my favorite blogs (waffleizer), I've ate a waffle or two everyday since we started our vacation in Colorado.

The "lodge" we stayed at has one of those "make-your-own, cast-iron-timed-with-dinging-noises-for-two-minutes-and-thirty-seconds" waffle irons. Every morning, I ventured downstairs and made myself one or two tasty waffles with maple syrup but no butter, and every morning i was pleased with the outcome. Almost makes me wish I had one of those super fancy hotel waffle makers, almost.

The one i have works well for a consumer grade appliance. I just set it to "3" put in some bisquick (mixed of course) and let'er buck for 4 minutes. I havn't yet ventured into some of the fun recipies listed on the Waffleizer blog, but i do plan on it "someday".

What are the first two I plan on trying you ask? The cookie, and the quesidilla.

Of course I won't be able to attempt any of those recipe's until we get back home. There's still 1,100 miles of road between me and my waffle iron.

Sigh.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A Jerry Doodle


This is what happens when i draw a picture with Julie's nephews.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Washing Machine

Statistically speaking, if a person stops updating there website, people generally stop visiting it.

The correlation seams quite profound really. Just imagine if people stopped coming to your house because you don't re-arrange your furniture regularly?

Which probably means if you stopped changing your clothes, people will stop visiting your home as well.

This leads to the only logical conclusion: if you stop doing laundry, people will stop coming to your blog.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Systemic seed spitting

For some unknown reason i purchased a bag of sunflower seeds a few weeks ago. I haven't cracked a seed for almost year, not since my "Crowning Achievement" incident a while back (the tooth is the same one that i crack seeds with).

I've gone through 3 bags in less than 2 weeks, 1 BBQ flavored and 2 ranch. It's an addiction that mocks my caffeine habit. Or compliments it, maybe? I even dumped half a bag down my shirt (accidentally, of course) and spent the whole day with ranch flavored nipples.

Could be worse i reckon.