CEO

I've been officially named CEO of my company. I'd like to say this position will bring more money, but I can't. It isn't the CEO you are probably thinking of.

CEO = Chief Entertainment Officer.

When I say "officially named" I really meant it was bestowed on me by my immediate coworkers.

Apparently my random thoughts that I expatiate out loud are a good source of comedy. They started a quote file on me. Most of them are one line quotes out of context from the conversation, which only makes them that much funnier.

For example:

"I just left something 2/3rd's evil in the elevator, the other 1/3 is still in my shorts"

For some reason, they felt it necessary to record that comment. At first, I thought it was going to be used in a hearing with HR. No, not yet.

~~~update~~~
expatiate: to move or wander about intellectually, imaginatively, etc., without restraint.